FAQ

Q:    Your music references a 'Zoldon' - allegedly the 'God of Heavy Metal'.  Is Zoldon real?  Do you actually believe he exists?

A:    Yes.  His existence transcends our universe, he truly resides in the realm of Metal.  Let none deny the power of his authority!

Q:     Seriously?

A:    Of course not.  This is a joke project.  Zoldon merely represents the sum total of all heavy metal stereotypes that we can think of, excluding the ones that we don't care about, and including ones that aren't appropriate but desirable nonetheless. 

Q:    Why don't you form a band and actually play the music live?

A:    For one, only I (Luke) really, truly gets into the DOZ music, out of the three of us that are involved.  And I'm not into being involved in bands at this stage.  On a more practical level, it would be difficult to organize the band since in order to perform some of the pieces properly we'd need up to seven members.  Where would we find seven members that would want to commit to the live performance of a joke project that is only geared toward the humour of a few people?

Q:    Can you make the songs funnier, and spend less time on all the actual serious sounding music that comprises a lot of the songs?

A:    We could, but that won't happen because the serious side to the songs actually increases the comedy because it adds to the satire.  We have to create a serious metal sound before adding in the twists.

Q:    Can you make the songs more serious, and do away with the silly stuff?

A:    We could, but no.  Combining the serious and non-serious elements is what we do best.  I don't care about music enough to want to write anything geared towards earning more respect from people that really do care about music.

Q:    Who is doing the vocals in the DOZ songs? 

A:    Mostly me.  We classify the different vocal styles into vocal 'characters'.  I then voice act them all when performing.  These vocal 'characters' are; The reaper, the herald, the prophet, and the transformed herald.  There is also 'the destroyer' done by Logan.  Any other voices you hear will be sampled from movies or elsewhere.

Q:    Why don't you use real drums in your recordings?

A:    Have you ever spent eight hours sitting on a couch in the recording studio while other people prepare microphones for the drums and do takes?  It's not much fun.  And this studio project is fun.  We spent a lot of money on the 'drumkit from hell' software, (after the first album was done) developed by the drummer from Meshuggah.  A lot of recording studios around the world use it.  It allows us to have a quality drum sound and spend less time relative to using a real kit.  It also means we can program difficult drum parts which would require an exceptional or inhuman drummer to perform.

Q:    How come my ass hurts?

A:    Because The Disciples of Zoldon are so kickass.

Q:    Has anyone ever actually asked you any of these FAQ questions?

A:    Kind of.  I made most of them up myself, although some of them have been asked a single time by various individuals.